Bruno

Just over six weeks ago, we welcomed our darling boy Bruno into the world. He is a gentle little soul who sleeps a lot and, when awake, stares quietly into my eyes (or the space just behind my head). His big brother is besotted with him and would like nothing more than for Bruno to just move into his room already so Hugo can be left alone to shower him with endless kisses.

As an only child, I always wondered what it would be like to have two children to love. How could it be possible to feel equally about both children, to love a second child just as much as you did the first? Well, spoiler alert, turns out it's easy as pie. As soon as Bruno was placed in my arms in the hospital, I fell desperately in love. His soft little head, his funny little cries, his sweet and tiny feet… Oooh, a new baby is the most wonderful, most delicious thing in the world. We are so lucky.

The postpartum time has been so much easier this time around. Perhaps it's because Bruno is such an easy baby, or because Hugo is already so big. Or maybe it's because I made a solemn vow to myself to never let a day go by without a shower and putting on real clothes and makeup? (Pro tip for all new moms!) Let's just say it's a happy confluence of all of that. I've even been cooking – soba noodles and Molly's granola number 5, banana bread and beef stew, no-knead pizza (delicious) and kibbe.

In other news, it has felt dissonant at best to be immersed in the heady, joyful and exhausting world of caring for a newborn simultaneously with what has felt like the breakdown of so much that we as U.S. citizens hold dear about our country. I am heartsick and enraged by what is happening at the highest levels of government and by the many accounts of cruelty and intolerance trickling down to the population at large. But I am also heartened and proud of my fellow Americans who are resisting as best they can through protest, activism and civic engagement.

It is so easy to feel helpless and hopeless, but the truth is that we all can pitch in and help defend the values that make America such a special place. Inspired by Happy Menocal, I held a little fundraiser for the ACLU on my Instagram account a couple weeks ago. It went so well (and so quickly – $1000 raised in about 10 minutes!) that I am determined to keep going with these little acts of solidarity with the organizations and people who will defend the best parts of the American experiment.

To blog about food in a time of such crisis has felt so impossible to me. I'm still trying to figure it all out, how to write about inconsequential stuff like granola and beef stew while also channeling my outrage and despair productively. Luckily, my amazing colleagues in the online food world are on it:

Tim writes about how to make fundraising for a cause you believe in a sociable and fun experience – right in your own home.

Food52, after pledging more diversity, both in their staff and in the subjects they cover, publishes a thought-provoking piece on turmeric latte and cultural appropriation.

Catherine regales us with her hilarious ('cause they're true) protest signs – plus tomato soup.

Amelia made me cry with her realization about us and Hillary. Plus she made onigiri to take to the Women's March in LA. Smart lady.

Sarah puts into words so much of what is swirling in my head these days about our new reality.

On a much more personal level, earlier this year, in an effort to include more diverse voices in my book diet, I committed to reading at least 12 books this year by people of color. I have always considered myself an open-minded, Black Lives Matter-supporting, bleeding heart liberal, but if the past year has proven anything, it's that even us well-meaning white people still have so much learning – and opening of minds – to do. It's not that I've avoided writers of color in the past, but my book consumption definitely skews white and I think it's important for me to intentionally seek out other voices this year. I feel a little funny spelling this all out here, but maybe that discomfort is part of the point.

So far, I've read Colson Whitehead's The Underground Railroad (I actually started just before the election and then found myself so devastated by the racist implications of what happened on November 8th that I had to stop reading until I could bear it again), Yaa Gyasi's Homegoing (read entirely during bleary-eyed night feeds and it was still riveting) and I've started Ta-Nehisi Coates' Between the World and Me (exquisite writing on a subject so infuriating – the unequaled violence that black bodies have always endured and must continue to endure in America – that I keep having to put it down and take deep breaths before continuing. Also, I am decidedly not someone who highlights sentences or passages with a pen when I read, but I may have to make an exception for this book.). Next up: Zadie Smith's Swing Time, Jacqueline Woodson's Brown Girl Dreaming, Ayobami Adebayo's Stay With Me and Brit Bennett's The Mothers. Have any more suggestions for me?

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122 responses to “Now We Are Four”

  1. Luisa Avatar

    Yes, yes! On my list (see comment above).

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  2. Luisa Avatar

    Thank you! Good luck to you and your family. And yes, Chimamanda’s books are so good!

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  3. Luisa Avatar

    I LOVE LOVE LOVED The Color of Water. I ran around yakking my head off about it to anyone I could when I first read it. So good. And thanks for the Ron Suskind rec; haven’t read that. You’re so right about cooking being an escape. Thank goodness we have that!

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  4. Luisa Avatar

    Thank you.

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  5. Luisa Avatar

    Ok, Audre Lord is on the list! The God of Small Things was so great. Loved Americanah,

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  6. Luisa Avatar

    Thank you!

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  7. Luisa Avatar

    Thank you, Viktoria.

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  8. Luisa Avatar

    Ooh, great tip! Thank you. I have never dipped my toe into the world of audiobooks, I confess!

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  9. Luisa Avatar

    Thank you, dear Jeriann. I will!

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  10. Luisa Avatar

    You’re right and thank you.

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  11. Luisa Avatar

    Will do! And we are gearing up to see the Baldwin documentary soon.

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  12. Luisa Avatar

    Gave The Sympathizer to my mother for Christmas! She devoured and loved it. So it’s back on my bedside table now… 🙂

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  13. Alison Avatar
    Alison

    “Brown Girl Dreaming” is so good. How about “I Am Malala”? This hasn’t come out yet, but I am looking forward to “The Best We Could Do.”

    Like

  14. Tara Randolph Avatar
    Tara Randolph

    I just flew through Flying Lessons, I think the editor was Ellen Oh but I can’t remember. The collection of short stories by diverse authors is targeted at young adults but I think anyone would enjoy it. It’s not so much stories about race as they are stories about being different.

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  15. Giulia Avatar
    Giulia

    I would also seek out Asian/American and East Indian writers and many books I’ve read in the past highlighted struggles that were had in those communities, brought on by racism or cultural forces within their communities that growing up as a Canadian European I was not aware of. I would highly recommend “Do Not Say We Have Nothing’ by Madeleine Thien

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  16. Robin Avatar
    Robin

    Congratulations Louisa on your beautiful boy and on managing to still be engaged through the new baby haze. I have a five month old and getting dressed feels like the most I can do some days. I love to read but I find it very hard to find the time – while nursing I find it’s too distracting for my son. I do listed to audiobooks, and of course read to my boys. I’ve been looking for books for them that have non white boy protaganists. One bedtime favourite is Tim Hopgood’s board book of It’s a Wonderful World. So beautiful.

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  17. Heather Avatar
    Heather

    Love this post, Luisa. Re: book recs–check out Grace by Natashia Deon. ❤

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  18. Edith Avatar

    It’s been mentioned in previous comments as well, but I can’t over-recommend The Sellout. It’s uniquely challenging and outrageously funny.

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  19. Amanda A Avatar
    Amanda A

    Congratulations on your new beautiful boy, Luisa! As a mother of a three-year-old son contemplating a second and wondering how I could possibly love a second as much as our first, I love hearing that it’s easy as pie 🙂 I’m also so glad to hear you back in this space, talking of your life, cooking, and the important learning and work we all have ahead of us. I’m inspired by your acts of resistance and words of support from Germany. Grateful for some new additions in this thread to add to my ever-growing list of books to read; most of the ones I wanted to recommend have already been mentioned here. I’m not usually a Jodi Picoult fan, but my book club recently read Small Great Things, and it had a surprising impact on me. Her Author’s Note on why she decided to write a book about racial prejudice (and white supremacists) and her journey through the research process was interesting… another writer compelled to pause “business as usual” and tackle this difficult subject.

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  20. Valerie Avatar
    Valerie

    Oh, an another recommendation: “Everything I Never Told You” by Celeste Ng. Have you read that yet?

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  21. Kaya Avatar
    Kaya

    I would love a list of YA novels by people of color! Please!!

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  22. Becki Avatar
    Becki

    Congratulations Luisa! Bruno is a beautiful boy, and I’m glad he’s making a good transition into your family. I’m sure it’s a day to day thing to, there are good days and not so good days.
    I love your intention to read more books by authors of color. I was blown away by Underground Railroad and I wanted everyone to read it. So glad it won the National Book Award!! I just finished Warmth of Other Suns and loved that too – I add my two cents to the others who have mentioned it. It’s long but exceedingly well done and so interesting.
    I have not seen Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson mentioned. He’s a black attorney in AL working on behalf of prisoners on death row, and writes about the huge numbers of black men incarcerated on the US. He has an engaging TED Talk if you’ve got only 10 minutes to spare!

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  23. Victoria Avatar

    Congratulations on the new addition to your beautiful family, the precious Bruno! He is lucky to be welcomed into such a loving world, meaning your home.
    As for the rest of it, I am totally devastated and literally sad all the time. Simply incomprehensible.
    Books – yes, loved Underground Railroad and Homegoing. Re Swing Time; this is weird, but I liked it better when I was done and was reflecting on it more than when I was reading it. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, and this time it wasn’t. Have I already recommended The Book of Night Women by Marlon James. I could not put it down and HIGHLY recommend it. I am going to go through the comments to leisurely check out what other readers have recommended.
    Again, congratulations and all my love. xoxo

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  24. Jenna Avatar
    Jenna

    I’ll ask my librarian friends!
    Also, I forgot to mention Louise Erdrich!

    Like

  25. amelia Avatar

    Gah! That photo of Bruno!!! Also: that turmeric essay is great. Nothing is simple! The world is nuanced! re: cultural appropriation, I loved what Zadie Smith said when I saw her speak in LA in January. She was talking about people getting upset b/c some fashion designer’s models all had dread locks. Smith’s mother has dread locks and she was like, “my mother could give a sh*t about these models!! and who are these people trying to protect my mother’s feelings??” So interesting.
    I read Swing Time and would love to discuss if you read it too. 🙂 Lastly, I really loved Woodson’s Another Brooklyn. Reminds me that I need to read Brown Girl Dreaming.
    THANKS FOR THE LINKS!! xoxx

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  26. Sarah Avatar
    Sarah

    Bruno is adorable, congrats! I have two little boys too, 7 and 4, and I like thinking about how they’ll always have each other — they’ll likely be each other’s longest relationships, if that makes sense.
    Also, books: I loved Imbolo Mbue’s “Behold the Dreamers.”

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  27. Am Avatar
    Am

    Congrats! I had my second this past summer, and it’s been sweet to see her & her older sibling together. Hugo will LOVE when Bruno’s old enough to start playing with him! Of course, things do get a little tougher once #2 is mobile (ha ha).
    Have you read Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston? It’s a fave of mine. And I’d recommend Langston Hughes for poetry (especially Let America Be America Again).

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  28. mstv Avatar
    mstv

    I also recommend The Sellout.

    Like

  29. Emma Avatar
    Emma

    Congratulations! My second baby is nearly 6 months and it is all so heartbreakingly precious this time, hard but not like the first time.
    Teju Cole’s Open City is amazing, read it! And Every Day is for the Thief.

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  30. Shannon Avatar
    Shannon

    Luisa – thank you for this beautiful post. And now – a perhaps inane question. Did you freeze the dough from the Jim Lahey recipe? I’ve made your Jamie Oliver dough several times and never had a problem freezing it. Thank you

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  31. kelleyn rothaermel Avatar

    He is lovely! Thank you for sharing him with us when you are right so much seems to be wrong with the world. In college, we were required to take and x amount of credits in diversity. I choose mine in Black Studies and my world was forever changed. I ended up expanding on the number of credits that were required and ended up minoring in the subject. I am not sure if all Universities require these diversity credits, but if not they should because I believe America would not be in the situation it currently is in and we would have a much more loving and caring world. One of the biggest lessons I learned is that this world of ours belongs to all of us because without the others we would not be where we are at today. Lewis and Clark’s expedition would not have been made possible if it were not for our black brothers who carried their supplies. And so forth and so forth. The idea that some carry that this is our country we must keep the others out is just simply crazy. This country and this planet belongs to everyone. We leave in 81 days for a year in Germany. I am hoping it will be a refreshing break from what is going on here in the states, though I know I won’t be completely able to shut out what is going on back home at the same time. Just makes me so sad because I feel like instead of moving into the futures we have gone backwards.

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  32. Lindsay Avatar
    Lindsay

    Luisa, your first book is up there in my favourites. Love it! I love every word you write and your sweet thoughtfulness during dark times.
    I’ve never chosen to read a book on any basis other than its sounding interesting or being by an author I already liked. One genre that has strong pull for me is what I think of as foodie memoirs, and there are so many from around the world, exposing one to a variety of cultures. Memoirs in general are usually very interesting to me. I don’t have a complete list, but here are some that touched me:
    “ALWAYS WEAR JOY: MY MOTHER BOLD AND BEAUTIFUL” by Susan Fales-Hill
    “THE PERFECT GENTLEMAN: A MUSLIM BOY MEETS THE WEST” by Imran Ahmad
    “CLIMBING THE MANGO TREES: A MEMOIR OF A CHILDHOOD IN INDIA” by Madhuri Jaffrey
    “WHEN I WAS PUERTO RICAN” by Esmeralda Santiago
    “A.L.T.” by Andre Leon Talley
    “RED CHINA BLUES” by Jan Wong
    Congratulations on another beautiful baby boy.

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  33. Lisa Wang Avatar
    Lisa Wang

    Jhumpa Lahiri, any of her writing. she writes beautifully about the immigrant experience. Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur. Read it in a quiet place. the raw honesty will take your breath away.

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  34. Luisa Avatar

    Jhumpa’s one of my favorite writers! Thanks for the Rupi Kaur tip; on my list now!

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  35. Luisa Avatar

    What a brilliant idea – diversity requirements in college! Where in Germany will you be? I hope you enjoy it here.

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  36. Luisa Avatar

    Not inane! I did freeze it but I haven’t defrosted yet, so I can’t say if freezing affected it. Will try this week, I think!

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  37. ruth F Avatar
    ruth F

    HI, LW, omg, Love love love that photo.
    I agree, the I. Wilkerson is unforgettable. Loved James McBride’s Kill ’em and LEave. And, In Other Rooms, Other Wonders.
    To my shame, I ‘ve only recently discovered Baldwin’s staggering short stories (Going to the Man) and novel Another Country..xxxxoxoRuth p.s. To add to the growing list of orgs. to support, Refugees Assist, IRAP.

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  38. Erin Avatar
    Erin

    It’s nonfiction but I’d recommend “The Warmth of Other Suns” by Isabel Wilkerson. It’s a chronicle of The Great Migration, when millions of African Americans left the south for the north and west. It does an excellent job of “setting the stage” for a lot of what we’ve seen lately. I think it’s excellent in providing the context for current events but does it through personal vignettes. Really good.

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  39. Lucy Avatar
    Lucy

    Thank you for your inspirational motherhood words to this only child about to have her second (in 5 weeks). I’d been pondering the same thoughts. Now just to keep them both alive 🙂

    Like

  40. Caroline Avatar
    Caroline

    Bruno is so lovely! Congratulations!
    Hanya Yanagihara is an absolutely brilliant writer. I recently read The People In The Trees for my book club, and it was one of the weirdest, wildest books I’ve read in a long time. What a mind that woman has.

    Like

  41. Karey Avatar
    Karey

    I totally get that. For me, the world is falling apart but I’m a marketing manager for a tech company. It makes no sense. I love the topic of this post and fabulous book recommendation resource we all have now, thanks to you! Lots of love to you and your family of four; Bruno is beautiful!

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  42. Luisa Avatar

    Thank you for alerting me to The Best We Could Do! Looks really good and I love graphic novels/memoirs.

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  43. Luisa Avatar
  44. Luisa Avatar
  45. Luisa Avatar

    Grateful to have a suggestion for Hugo! Thank you.

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  46. Luisa Avatar

    Good to know; it’s on my list!

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  47. Luisa Avatar

    Oh, how interesting! Good to know.

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  48. Luisa Avatar

    Thank you for both suggestions!! I know his name, but haven’t read his book or seen the talk. Clicking over to search now!

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  49. Luisa Avatar

    Thank you, dearest Vic! Putting Marlon James on the list.

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