Bruno

Just over six weeks ago, we welcomed our darling boy Bruno into the world. He is a gentle little soul who sleeps a lot and, when awake, stares quietly into my eyes (or the space just behind my head). His big brother is besotted with him and would like nothing more than for Bruno to just move into his room already so Hugo can be left alone to shower him with endless kisses.

As an only child, I always wondered what it would be like to have two children to love. How could it be possible to feel equally about both children, to love a second child just as much as you did the first? Well, spoiler alert, turns out it's easy as pie. As soon as Bruno was placed in my arms in the hospital, I fell desperately in love. His soft little head, his funny little cries, his sweet and tiny feet… Oooh, a new baby is the most wonderful, most delicious thing in the world. We are so lucky.

The postpartum time has been so much easier this time around. Perhaps it's because Bruno is such an easy baby, or because Hugo is already so big. Or maybe it's because I made a solemn vow to myself to never let a day go by without a shower and putting on real clothes and makeup? (Pro tip for all new moms!) Let's just say it's a happy confluence of all of that. I've even been cooking – soba noodles and Molly's granola number 5, banana bread and beef stew, no-knead pizza (delicious) and kibbe.

In other news, it has felt dissonant at best to be immersed in the heady, joyful and exhausting world of caring for a newborn simultaneously with what has felt like the breakdown of so much that we as U.S. citizens hold dear about our country. I am heartsick and enraged by what is happening at the highest levels of government and by the many accounts of cruelty and intolerance trickling down to the population at large. But I am also heartened and proud of my fellow Americans who are resisting as best they can through protest, activism and civic engagement.

It is so easy to feel helpless and hopeless, but the truth is that we all can pitch in and help defend the values that make America such a special place. Inspired by Happy Menocal, I held a little fundraiser for the ACLU on my Instagram account a couple weeks ago. It went so well (and so quickly – $1000 raised in about 10 minutes!) that I am determined to keep going with these little acts of solidarity with the organizations and people who will defend the best parts of the American experiment.

To blog about food in a time of such crisis has felt so impossible to me. I'm still trying to figure it all out, how to write about inconsequential stuff like granola and beef stew while also channeling my outrage and despair productively. Luckily, my amazing colleagues in the online food world are on it:

Tim writes about how to make fundraising for a cause you believe in a sociable and fun experience – right in your own home.

Food52, after pledging more diversity, both in their staff and in the subjects they cover, publishes a thought-provoking piece on turmeric latte and cultural appropriation.

Catherine regales us with her hilarious ('cause they're true) protest signs – plus tomato soup.

Amelia made me cry with her realization about us and Hillary. Plus she made onigiri to take to the Women's March in LA. Smart lady.

Sarah puts into words so much of what is swirling in my head these days about our new reality.

On a much more personal level, earlier this year, in an effort to include more diverse voices in my book diet, I committed to reading at least 12 books this year by people of color. I have always considered myself an open-minded, Black Lives Matter-supporting, bleeding heart liberal, but if the past year has proven anything, it's that even us well-meaning white people still have so much learning – and opening of minds – to do. It's not that I've avoided writers of color in the past, but my book consumption definitely skews white and I think it's important for me to intentionally seek out other voices this year. I feel a little funny spelling this all out here, but maybe that discomfort is part of the point.

So far, I've read Colson Whitehead's The Underground Railroad (I actually started just before the election and then found myself so devastated by the racist implications of what happened on November 8th that I had to stop reading until I could bear it again), Yaa Gyasi's Homegoing (read entirely during bleary-eyed night feeds and it was still riveting) and I've started Ta-Nehisi Coates' Between the World and Me (exquisite writing on a subject so infuriating – the unequaled violence that black bodies have always endured and must continue to endure in America – that I keep having to put it down and take deep breaths before continuing. Also, I am decidedly not someone who highlights sentences or passages with a pen when I read, but I may have to make an exception for this book.). Next up: Zadie Smith's Swing Time, Jacqueline Woodson's Brown Girl Dreaming, Ayobami Adebayo's Stay With Me and Brit Bennett's The Mothers. Have any more suggestions for me?

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122 responses to “Now We Are Four”

  1. Molly Avatar

    Americanah was wonderful. And yes, anything by Zadie Smith. I remember after reading White Teeth I felt so lazy and wondered what on earth I had done with my life after I realized she was in her early 20s when she wrote it. Are you interested in young adult novels? There have been a ton of wonderful books by people of color in that genre. Let me know.

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  2. Gerlinde@Sunnycovechef Avatar

    Congratulations Luisa on your beautiful baby Bruno. What a treasure and joy. As to our political situation here in the US, it sucks. Unser neuer President ist ein Kotzmittel . I picked a couple of causes to fight for and support, one of them being Planned Parenthood. Being in the kitchen and cooking for me is therapeutic, so I will continue to cook and share. Our book club just finished The Underground Railroad and I was going to recommend Americah, but I see that Molly already did so.

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  3. Carole @ Emu Joy Avatar

    Your loving approach to both motherhood and fighting against injustice in our world is inspiring. Thank you for sharing it in this post.

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  4. Lynne Avatar
    Lynne

    Congratulations! What a lovely and beautiful child. I wish you and your family much joy and happiness with both of your little ones.
    Like you, I also live overseas and am heartbroken at what is happening in Washington. A friend of mine has just started a monthly donation to both ACLU and Planned Parenthood and I’m following her lead. I am totally blown away with your energy and grace in continuing to fight against the hate and intolerance – and with a newborn! Bless you.

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  5. Charity Avatar
    Charity

    Two excellent books that have stayed with me:
    The Good Lord Bird by James McBride. A young black man in 1850s Missouri is taken along with John Brown, the abolitionist, as he bushwhacks and rousts the west to end slavery, and then heads to Harper’s Ferry. The narrator’s colorful midwestern voice is vivid, and you’ll be immersed in the observations of this canny and kind young man.
    The Known Word by Edward P Jones is a Pulitzer Prize winning novel of a slave holding black family in the mid 19th century. Born a slave, Henry works to free himself, then becomes a slave owner himself. The details of daily life, and the stories of different characters are completely engrossing. I read this book 10 years ago, and it still tops my list of best books. Apparently it tops Oprah’s too.
    With my children, we listed to I Will Always Write Back, by Martin Ganda and Caitlin Alifirenka, the true tale of pen pals from Zimbabwe and Pennsylvania. This young adult book contains the actual letters exchanged over the 1990s between two young people as they related their lives. Caitlin grew to appreciate the dire circumstances her friend lived in. For example, she sent a photo and asked him for one, not realizing the expense was beyond his family’s budget. And Martin slowly reveals the truth of his hardships, which were extreme.
    I completely agree with comments above recommending Americanah, a wonderful book, observing the U.S., particularly African American life, with wit and insight from the perspective of an African student who came here for college.

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  6. Valerie Avatar
    Valerie

    Congratulations Luisa, what a beautiful baby Bruno is!
    On the books: Americanah stayed with me for a long time after I read it. There is one section which was a lightbulb moment for me, where she compares the U.S. to England – the former being a country that is largely divided by race, the latter by class – and what this means in terms of discrimination and inclusion. Highly recommended (plus a beautiful story which made me tear up, something that does not happen often to me when I read books).
    Enjoy these beautiful new baby weeks.

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  7. Jenna Avatar
    Jenna

    Diversity in authors of the books I read has been a goal of mine for a few years now, with the benchmark of “less than 10% by white male authors.” But looking back on the books I’ve read (love Goodreads for tracking), it looks like I tended to choose white female authors. So rather than simply cutting down on white male authors, I need to push for my diversity in general. I do love Zadie Smith, and Between the World and Me was a great read. I have Brit Bennett’s book waiting on my nightstand! I’m waiting on a digital copy of Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe from my library. If you haven’t read Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston, it’s a lovely book. Kazuo Ishiguro, Helen Oyeyemi, Haruki Murakami, and Junot Diaz are some good authors to check out.
    Part of my personal dilemma is that while I am happy to be challenged by books that explicitly explore the experience of not being white, I also want to read books where being of color is not the sole (or even main) point of the book. I understand that people of color do not have the luxury of not constantly thinking about the color of their skin and how it affects their life, but at the same time, I feel like by only choosing to read what they have to say about skin color relegates them to a small box, i.e., they are the only ones who can write about it and that is all they can write about. My preferred genre is modern literary fiction. Not a lot of diversity in the authors that are published in this genre (white and Christian or white and Jewish, basically). It’s hard enough to find women, even harder to find people of color. I work to seek them out, but it’s challenging.
    I’m also the mother to two boys (4 and 2) and we’re all readers. I’m making an effort to expand the diversity of their books too, both in the authors and the color of the humans in the illustrations (although many of our books feature animals or anthromorphised vehicles). I could make better progress. We love Jack Ezra Keats, Corduroy, and The Airport Book.

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  8. Jenna Avatar
    Jenna

    And also: congratulations on the lovely addition to your family!

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  9. Sue Lovegren Avatar
    Sue Lovegren

    Oh Luisa,
    You have touched my heart so. Not only with the post about your beautiful new arrival, Bruno (I LOVE the name!) but also with your heartfelt compassion and commitment to be engaged and to do your part as a human being and also as a citizen of this country. You have inspired me to do more. I gave the Ta-Nahisi Coates book to my son-in-law and husband for Christmas last year but never read it myself! I vow to do that now.
    My sincere congratulations to you on the birth of such a beautiful and healthy looking baby. And thank you for your honesty, your integrity, and oh yeah, your recipes! I look forward to trying the new collection.
    From a fellow bleeding heart liberal,
    Sue Lovegren

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  10. Jeanine Avatar
    Jeanine

    Congratulations on your beautiful new son! Two books by black authors that you should also read for a well rounded view are Uncle Sam’s Plantation by: Star Parker and Please stop helping us by: Jerry Riley.

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  11. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    Born a Crime by Trevor Noah, a memoir of growing up in South Africa.

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  12. bethh Avatar
    bethh

    Congratulations on the addition to your family!!!
    Thank you for the book recommendations – I’m leaning toward choosing Homegoing for my next book group! I recently read The Sellout by Paul Beatty and it was an interesting experience. I could appreciate both his playfulness and the seriousness of his message, and it was speaking of a world I have NO experience with so I was often puzzled as much I was entertained. I think it’s worth rereading and trying to absorb his message (which is, among other topics, calling out our delusions of being post-racial – it was published before the election when we were a bit more self-congratulatory than we are now).
    A group of local women-owned bakeries got together and had a bake sale for Planned Parenthood – I think that it was arranged so you could pay $50 for a box of 25 cookies. They sold out within a day and raised over $25,000! I’m super inspired by the activism and am donating regularly to the ACLU and Planned Parenthood, and I also struggle with how awful awful awful everything feels. And I’m in an extremely liberal part of the country thank goodness.

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  13. Jill Avatar
    Jill

    The March trilogy. Three graphic novels that recount Rep. John Lewis’ career in civil rights. If you have a Netflix account, it’s powerful to read these in conjunction with the documentary “13th”.
    The New Jim Crow
    The Castle Cross The Magnet Carter
    Whistling Vivaldi
    And congratulations on that gorgeous baby! So sweet and obviously very smart!

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  14. Caille Millner Avatar

    I’m going to go out on a limb here and recommend my own book! It’s called The Golden Road: Notes on my Gentrification, and you may find it interesting as someone who also lives abroad. (I also have a story in Best American Short Stories 2016 if that’s easier to find.)

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  15. Mary Avatar
    Mary

    Congratulations Luisa! Best wishes to the four of you – enjoy the warmth of your family.

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  16. Sarah C Avatar
    Sarah C

    Jami Attenberg said something in an interview today with LARB that really resonated with me, and I think spoke directly to your concern:
    “But look, we can only write about what makes us feel passionate. People shouldn’t have to throw away the 150 pages of a novel they were working on before the election just because it doesn’t feel relevant to our current political nightmare. Human emotions and a good story are always relevant. Writing with compassion and intelligence, those are our weapons always.”
    And in terms of books, check out The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson and Here Comes the Sun by Nicole Dennis-Benn.

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  17. Hilary Avatar
    Hilary

    Congratulations, Luisa – Bruno is beautiful. I would recommend anything by Toni Morrison.

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  18. Linda Avatar
    Linda

    Beautiful beautiful baby Bruno. Welcome, may your world be open, filled with curiosity, and peaceful.
    For the last couple of years, for international escape, I’ve enjoyed reading mysteries from around the world. It’s been a cool glimpse into other global narratives.

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  19. Beth Avatar
    Beth

    Congratulations on the beautiful baby boy! I recommend The Warmth of Other Suns. http://isabelwilkerson.com/

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  20. Laurie Metzger Petrausch Avatar

    Congratulations Luisa on your new addition and thank you for sharing your experiences so candidly. I am an American living in Germany too- in Franconia (northern Bavaria.) I found your blog when I came across your 20 surprising things about parenting in Germany. I have a blog as well where I chronicle my experience of immigrating and make observations about the Franconian culture, mostly the food. I have found it difficult as well to know where to begin in this political situation. I have wanted to address it on my blog but have found it too heavy and difficult and so recently I ended up writing a whimsical post about Fasching instead. Still, I admire and appreciate your observations and the way you’ve found a way to weave in these heavier ideas. We have a 21 month old and are just waiting to find out if there is another one on the way. Your thoughts about whether you could love another one are my thoughts exactly. I’m just so in love with the first one, I can’t imagine that I can love the second one as much or as well. It’s so comforting to read what you’ve written and know that certainly I can! When I read your thoughts, I imagine you as my friend in Berlin as it sounds like we are something of kindred spirits. Kind regards, Laurie

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  21. Laurie Avatar

    PS I forgot to mention that while I was nursing in the middle of the night I read almost all of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s books. All stunning. Highly recommend. Cheers, Laurie

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  22. mmf99@yahoo.com Avatar
    mmf99@yahoo.com

    The Color of Water by James McBride. And A Hope in the Unseen by Ron Suskind. Two great books I re-read. I have doubled my monthly contribution to my local NPR station and become a member of ACLU. Cooking and baking do seem ridiculous in times like these. But a meal with my family or a long involved recipe get me away from the craziness. Enjoy your children and family….they are what we fight for.

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  23. Liz Avatar
    Liz

    Congratulations on the birth of your lovely boy, and all the very best to you and your family. Regarding books: I’m currently reading a historical study called “A Chosen Exile: A History of Racial Passing in American Life.” It is a painful and very insightful angle on the human costs of the Jim Crow era. This topic came up once in a discussion at a genealogy conference about tracing relatives who “disappear.” I had never considered this aspect and wanted to learn more.

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  24. Lisa Avatar
    Lisa

    Luisa – read Zami by Audre Lorde! It’s wonderful. Anything by Sandra Cisneros. The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy. Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

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  25. Anon Avatar
    Anon

    All upper middle class white liberals should listen to Black Conservative Patriot, Tree of Knowledge, Alveda King, Diamond and Silk, ET Williams, Shirley Husar, Thaddeus Dionne Alexander, Uncle Hotep, Nick Taylor, Derrick Grayson, and Jesse Lee Petersen.

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  26. Dani Avatar
    Dani

    Congratulations – he’s beautiful!

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  27. anon Avatar
    anon

    Sorry that’s Tree of Logic (not knowledge) – she lived in Germany for several years. You should also listen to Anthony Brian Logan. There are so many great black conservatives boldly supporting President Trump that it’s hard to keep track. You will never hear about them on the MSM media though…hmmmm…wonder why. Just like you never hear about thecmany pro-Trump Jews, including his Jewish chief speechwriter. President Trump and VP Pence are pro-Israeli, and the anti-Semitic Left doesn’t like that!

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  28. Viktoria Avatar
    Viktoria

    Congratulations!! I am happy for your little gift! He surely is a cute pie!
    I can imagine that it is difficult to write about food in such times as now. After reading the news, I felt so disheartened, furious and sad at the same time, these days. But it has been always uplifting to read your blog. And we NEED to stay positive, for the sake of our kids and all our beloved ones. Keep writing!

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  29. Kate Avatar
    Kate

    Just finished, and loved, the audiobook of The Turner House by Angela Flournoy. Debut novel about a Detroit family, shortlisted for 2015 National Book Award and the audiobook has an amazing reader, Adenrele Ojo (I found audiobooks were great when I had my hands full of baby!)

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  30. Jeriann Avatar
    Jeriann

    Dear dear Luisa–you need to keep blogging about “granola, etc.,” because now, more than ever, in my lifetime we need to create true “refuge” in our homes. We need to feed our loved ones “soul filling” food, food that warms the body and the soul. You keep posting girl, keep posting.

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  31. Scorps1027 Avatar
    Scorps1027

    Food is never, NEVER inconsequential! In fact, it can help bridge the gap in so many places in terms of learning and understanding others! Your blog and these posts are a welcome respite to the countless disheartening things I read everyday!

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  32. Katie K Avatar
    Katie K

    Greetings from NY. Check out Octavia Butler. And don’t forget Baldwin. xox

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  33. Erika Avatar
    Erika

    The Sympathizer by Viet Than Nguyen offers a Vietnamese American refugee’s perspective on the Vietnam war (or American war, depending on what part of the world). He has a keen of sense of humor which is a great blend in a book about such a serious story. Am also interested in reading his followup The Refugees.

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  34. Luisa Avatar

    Loved Americanah. Yes, I felt the same when I found out that Yaa Gyasi is just 26 or 27! Incredible. I do like YA novels, would love some tips!

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  35. Luisa Avatar

    Thank you, dear Gerlinde. And yes, PP needs our support, I’m right there with you!

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  36. Luisa Avatar

    Thank you. xoxo

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  37. Luisa Avatar

    It’s the only thing that helps against the…well, helplessness! Thank you.

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  38. Luisa Avatar

    Loved The Known Word so much. I started The Good Lord Bird last year, but was distracted, I think by the pregnancy? It’s on the bookshelf in my bedroom, so I see it every night before I go to bed! Will put it on my to-read-asap pile now. And I didn’t know about I Will Always Write Back, thank you! Sounds like a good thing both for me and for Hugo, one day…

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  39. Luisa Avatar

    Thank you! Yes I felt the same way about Americanah, what a good book that was.

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  40. Luisa Avatar

    Such a good point you make (and I need to get on that Goodreads tracking thing, how smart!). Perhaps we need to find book blogs, for example, written by people of color who are recommending books like that? Read Things Fall Apart in high school and college, as well as Their Eyes Were Watching God; such great classics. Ishiguro’s The Remains of the Day continues to be one of my favorite books of all time. I have been meaning to read Diaz’s Oscar Wao now for years – don’t know why I keep forgetting to buy it. Hugo loves Corduroy and Jack Ezra Keats! So do I. 🙂

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  41. Luisa Avatar

    Thank you, thank you! xo

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  42. Luisa Avatar

    Thank you! I haven’t heard of either – they’re on my list now!

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  43. Luisa Avatar

    Thank you! I’ve heard it’s good.

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  44. Luisa Avatar

    What a brilliant fundraiser! Love that. And I’ve heard mixed things about The Sellout – thanks for mentioning it and your experience with it!

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  45. Luisa Avatar

    Ooh, thank you, what great recommendations. Max and I watched “13th” a few weeks ago. Have you seen Ezra Edelman’s OJ documentary? We watched that last summer and I found it incredibly powerful.

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  46. Luisa Avatar

    Thank you for going out on a limb! I will definitely be checking out your book.

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  47. Luisa Avatar

    Thank you!

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  48. Luisa Avatar

    Thank you. She’s right! I just struggle with the triteness of what I usually write about. The world is burning but I made bread! Sigh… Anyway, Wilkerson’s book has been on my radar for YEARS, this will definitely be the year I read it. And thank you for the Nicole Dennis-Benn rec!

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  49. Luisa Avatar

    Thank you! Love Morrison, have read many of her books, which are so brilliant and uncompromising.

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  50. Luisa Avatar

    Thank you! Any in particular you can recommend?

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