Squash toast

A little update on the state of affairs over here: I am sick, felled by the flu. Hugo is in the full throes of cranky, screamy toddlerhood (so soon? help!). It is my birthday, but because of the aforementioned germs I had to cancel every fun thing I had planned for the day. And I am up to my eyeballs in unanswered emails and stacks of work and to-do lists and backlogged posts and every time I think about all that stuff, my stomach does this ugly little flip, it's very disconcerting, and then to make it stop I have to burrow my face into my sick bed and breathe deep and tell myself to stop worrying, which of course does absolutely nothing to stop me from worrying, and anyway, it's all rather unpleasant.

And yet!

Despite this pathetic litany of complaints, I am in pretty good spirits. It is December, which is one of my favorite months. I just bought How The Grinch Stole Christmas to give Hugo on Christmas. Our Christmas Eve menu is coming together in my head. (Salt-baked whole fish? Chocolate soufflé? What do you think?) We have a roof over our heads and food in the pantry and I have a mother who drops everything to take care of my kid while I recuperate, even at 6:00 in the morning. Honestly, the only thing I wish I had right now were a few more hours in each day – say, three? I'm not greedy! – to get things done. Who's with me?

(Which leads me to a quick interlude: Dearest readers – sometimes, when I'm forced to lie in bed and think about thrilling things like organization and staying on top of things and other areas in which I find myself, at times, failing miserably, I wish there was some kind of textbook or curriculum on how to organize your life that could be passed around once you have a child and then go back to work. I'm not talking about having it all or balance or any of that, at least I don't think I am. It's more that I find myself wondering what little tips and secrets there are to running a household, working and parenting and staying marginally sane throughout. Then it occurred to me that I could just ask you wise people, because you've always come through in the clutch for me before. Right? So, tell me, give it to me straight: what is one piece of advice you'd give a frazzled lady such as myself if you could? You know, like, only buy socks in one color so you never have to worry if you lose one in the washing machine! Or…cook all your vegetables on Sunday and then use them up over the week! You know what I mean? Go!)

Raw squash

In return, I will tell you about this roasted squash business, which I made for the first time a month ago and have cooked every week since then and have decided is my favorite food discovery of 2013, which is no faint praise when you think about all the delicious things I wrote about since the beginning of the year: Orange marmalade, broccoli soup, French chocolate cake, porridge, for Pete's sake, homemade saag and THE BEST ROASTED VEGETABLES EVER, to name just a few.

It comes from Jean-Georges Vongerichten, which should already tip you off somewhat, since that man is a cooking genius and one of the only chefs I know who can successfully translate his insane restaurant kitchen chops into doable home cooking. This particular recipe shows up on ABC Kitchen's menu as Squash Toast and you can see adorable Mr. Vongerichten himself cooking it with Mark Bittman right here (if that video doesn't make you want to get into the kitchen right this instant, then I don't know what to tell you). And the first time I made it, I followed it pretty precisely and had myself a fabulous little lunch – the spicy squash and the sweet-sour onions are fantastic layered with the cooling ricotta, the crunchy bread, and the mint. But it was just me for lunch, which meant that I had a good amount of the roast squash mixed with vinegary onion jam left over. I figured I'd eat the leftovers for lunch the next day, stuck them in the fridge and forgot about them.

Then, a few days later, my mother was over and we needed lunch, fast. I put water on to boil for pasta, rummaged around in the fridge and found the mashed spicy squash. I thinned it with some starchy pasta water, dressed the boiled pasta with it and topped it with a big mound of grated Parmesan cheese and, lo, it blew our minds. I've made the squash and onions and used it for pasta every week since then. No joke. Everyone who eats it (my mother, my husband, my friends) goes quiet and makes that wide-eyed face, you know which one I'm talking about, as they work their way through their plate. It's magical and delicious and perfect and I love it.

Roasted squash

Jean-Georges Vongerichten's Squash Toast
Adapted from the original recipe
Note: I usually use less oil than called for here, reducing the amount by a tablespoon here and there.

1 2 1/2- to 3-pound kabocha or butternut squash, peeled, seeded and cut into pieces 1/8- to 1/4-inch thick
3/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1/2 teaspoon dried chile flakes, more to taste
3 teaspoons kosher salt
1 yellow onion, peeled and thinly sliced
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup maple syrup
4 slices country bread, 1-inch thick
1/2 cup ricotta
Coarse salt
4 tablespoons chopped mint

1. Heat the oven to 450. Combine the squash, 1/4 cup olive oil, chile flakes and 2 teaspoons of salt in a bowl and toss well. Transfer the mixture to a parchment-lined baking sheet and cook, stirring once, until tender and slightly colored, about 15 minutes or a little longer. Remove from the oven.

2. Meanwhile, heat another 1/4 cup olive oil over medium-high heat, add the onions and remaining teaspoon salt and cook, stirring frequently, until the onions are well softened and darkening, about 10-15 minutes. Add the vinegar and syrup, stir and reduce over medium-low heat until syrupy and broken down, 10-15 minutes; the mixture should be jammy.

3. Combine squash and onions in a bowl and smash with a fork until combined. Taste for seasoning.

4. Add the remaining oil to a skillet over medium-high heat. Working in batches if necessary, add bread and cook until just golden on both sides, less than 10 minutes total; drain on paper towels. Spread cheese on toasts, then top with the squash-onion mixture. Sprinkle with coarse salt and garnish with mint.

4a. Alternatively, boil penne or rigatoni in lightly salted water, setting aside 1-2 cups of starchy pasta water towards the end. Toss the cooked pasta with the squash-onion mixture, thinning it with pasta water until you get the desired thickness and top with grated Parmesan cheese. The amount of squash and onions above will make enough "sauce" for 4-6 portions. If you go the pasta route, you can leave off the ricotta and mint.

 
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44 responses to “Jean-Georges Vongerichten’s Squash Toast”

  1. Roberta Briffa Avatar

    Sorry to hear you are sick. However still wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday! Get well soon!

    Like

  2. Katrin Avatar
    Katrin

    Thank you for the recipe! It sounds wonderful!!! As far as advice goes – the biggest and best advice is “Don’t sweat the small stuff!” A hug and a smile is worth so much more to kids than a perfect house. That being said, the house does need to be taken care of, otherwise there are other consequences. I plan a menu on Saturday for the week, with dishes that cover at least 2 days at a time. If I actually happen to have time to cook on the second day, I freeze the leftovers for those panic days. The menu does get changed if I happen to see something wonderful at the market! The other thing is make sure you are doing one thing a day for you…the feeling of being overwhelmed is only stemmed by feeding your soul – whatever that may be for you that day. Hang in there – I’ve been there and have survived!!!

    Like

  3. Cristina Avatar

    Thank you for this great recipe! I was trying to figure out if I have a smart advice to share in exchange, but I am a poorly organized working mum myself. My discovery of the week (pathetic I know) is to cook one meal for the whole family (sadly giving up chili) and then blend a portion in the mixer for my toddler. He’s so much happier than with his toddlers’ meals and I am relieved to have one menu only to deal with. After this confession you can call social services I guess.

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  4. Elissa Avatar

    So sorry you’re sick–hope you feel better soon! I made this squash toast after I saw the pic on your Instagram and loved it–will have to try the pasta trick!
    My kiddos are a bit older than yours (2 and 4), so I think my challenges may be a little different, but here are a couple of the ways we are able to make it through the week with two working parents:
    1) I shower and get ready before the kids wake up on weekday mornings. The 2-year-old sometimes wakes up too early, but barring emergency I let her hang out in the crib until I’m finished drying my hair. I find it impossible to juggle kids while trying to get myself ready, and the whole morning goes more smoothly if I don’t have to deal with them until I’m awake and minimally groomed
    2) I try to do a weekly meal plan before I do the shopping for the week. Our weekday dinners need to be on the table in under 30 min., so no elaborate meals and there’s no time to figure it out once we get home. I also try to keep some quick standbys on hand in case something falls through–favorites are frozen dumplings and edamame and scrambled eggs with toast. Other quick meals in regular rotation: chicken stir-fry with a vegetable, ground beef tacos, various pastas, sausages with roasted cauliflower or broccoli, you get the idea.
    3) We do laundry once a week in a single marathon session (usually on Friday night–we have a very exciting lifestyle). When we try to do laundry in a more piecemeal fashion somehow everything gets disorganized, and I find it mentally easier to just get it over with. I am lucky because my husband takes charge of the laundry for the most part–I will often try to do my weekly grocery run while he is up to his neck in laundry.

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  5. Elissa Avatar

    So sorry you’re sick–hope you feel better soon! I made this squash toast after I saw the pic on your Instagram and loved it–will have to try the pasta trick!
    My kiddos are a bit older than yours (2 and 4), so I think my challenges may be a little different, but here are a couple of the ways we are able to make it through the week with two working parents:
    1) I shower and get ready before the kids wake up on weekday mornings. The 2-year-old sometimes wakes up too early, but barring emergency I let her hang out in the crib until I’m finished drying my hair. I find it impossible to juggle kids while trying to get myself ready, and the whole morning goes more smoothly if I don’t have to deal with them until I’m awake and minimally groomed
    2) I try to do a weekly meal plan before I do the shopping for the week. Our weekday dinners need to be on the table in under 30 min., so no elaborate meals and there’s no time to figure it out once we get home. I also try to keep some quick standbys on hand in case something falls through–favorites are frozen dumplings and edamame and scrambled eggs with toast. Other quick meals in regular rotation: chicken stir-fry with a vegetable, ground beef tacos, various pastas, sausages with roasted cauliflower or broccoli, you get the idea.
    3) We do laundry once a week in a single marathon session (usually on Friday night–we have a very exciting lifestyle). When we try to do laundry in a more piecemeal fashion somehow everything gets disorganized, and I find it mentally easier to just get it over with. I am lucky because my husband takes charge of the laundry for the most part–I will often try to do my weekly grocery run while he is up to his neck in laundry.

    Like

  6. Rena Avatar

    Try Ottolenghi’s roasted butternut squash with red onions and tahini dressing from the Jerusalem cookbook. Almost just like this. It’s so good and really easy (except cutting up the squash. I made my husband do that part 🙂 ). I don’t have the book but found the recipe posted online everywhere.

    Like

  7. Matilda Avatar
    Matilda

    Happy birthday!
    Tips that have worked for me (Both my husband and I work full-time jobs, me=40h, him=60h; my kids are almost 2 yo, 4 yo, and almost 7 yo):
    1. Let go of perfection and concentrate on keeping kids safe and fed. Frustration (on the kids’ part or mine) is OK and normal. Take a deep breath and focus on getting through the next chunk of time, eg: until lunchtime, until nap, until supper, until bath, until bedtime.
    2. Outsource all things that you can/willing to outsource. For example, I hire a housekeeper and what I pay her is the best spent money of the week. I’d rather read my kids books than I scrubbing the toilet (or even worse, arguing with the husband whose turn it as this week to scrub the toilet). One mindset I find helpful (via AskMoxie)is to separate the “job” tasks from the “relationship” tasks of parenting.
    3. Wash and prep all vegetables when they enter your door. Serving vegetables at each meal is easier when everything is already prepped.
    4. Plan meals. Which is not to say, be boring, but I see dinner as themes: we have one or two dinners that center on chicken, one that’s beans, one that is red meat, and one or two that center on pasta. There is a ton of variety in these staple dishes–eg, we won’t have the same chicken dish repeated for at least 3 months. And that red meat dish? In the summer, it’s grilled steak and in winter, it’s a triple batch of a stew we love and leftovers are stored in convenient family-sized portions. Like money in the bank!
    5. No early meetings. Getting all of us ready for work and daycare/school dropoffs is too complicated when mixed in with breakfast meetings.

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  8. Kim A Avatar
    Kim A

    First off, Happy Birthday!
    Last night we had our company Christmas party. On the menu was butternut squash and shrimp soup. It was the first time I have tried butternut squash. I found it quite good, so I think I might try this recipe as a pasta sauce, as I love anything pasta. Thanks for the recipe, it could not have come at a better time. Also hope you get to feeling better soon.

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  9. Katie Avatar

    Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!
    Although my partner and I don’t have children yet, here are two recent changes that have made our busy lives significantly less stressful:
    1) Hire a housekeeper! A few months ago we hired a lady to come every two weeks to do a thorough, deep cleaning. It makes a HUGE difference. I’m way less stressed out in a clean environment (who isn’t?) and it makes me wonder how we ever lived without her. I am also living in Berlin, and the prices are super reasonable (ten euros an hour!)
    2) Get a dryer. I’m not sure if this applies to you, but the vast majority of people in Germany don’t have clothing dryers, and it’s something I mourn the most about living in America. But…we finally splurged recently and got one (I finally convinced my German partner that it was WORTH IT). It makes laundry so much less stressful and time-consuming. I hated having clothes hanging to dry all over the house for days at a time. Messy house = stress! The dryer was the second best decision we made this year (after the housekeeper!).
    Perhaps that helps! Also my mom’s favorite phrase, “This too shall pass.” So true, and comforting at times!

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  10. Ruthy @ Omeletta Avatar

    Oh, I wish I had some helpful household hints for you. But in truth I’m a bit of a hot mess when it comes to balancing everything, and being due with our first in January only make me nervous!
    I love ABC kitchen; Vongerichten is a total genius. Squash is so perfect this time of year; I’m definitely adding this one to the lunchtime list 🙂

    Like

  11. Heather Avatar
    Heather

    I’m sorry you are sick! I echo the outsourcing advice. In addition:
    – Get as much as you can delivered to your house on a recurring schedule. Not sure what is available in Berlin, but I have diapers, cleaning supplies, toiletries, grocery basics (milk/eggs/bread/canned goods), and anything we use and need to replace on a regular basis delivered so I never have to think about it. I cannot tell you the stress that has been reduced from my life by not having to run out to get milk or baby wipes all the time.
    – Automate bills and other financial stuff. Not opening/sorting/paying bills has freed up hours of my time each month.
    A friend of mine gave this sage advice which I am trying to follow: Do your best to only spend time on your career, on yourself (sleep/exercise), and on relationships with the people you love. Good luck!

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  12. dervla Avatar

    A) HAPPY BIRTHDAY my dear friend!!! B) So sorry you’re sick, pop the B6 and B12 C) In terms of advice, I’ve given up cleaning up around my girls while they play, instead i just tackle it all at once at night after they go to bed. That way i’m a whole lot less stressed while they are playing. I keep a dry erase board by our front door and we write the week’s appointments and shopping lists on there so i see them as i leave the apartment every day. Another tip: IKEA drawer organizers for diapers, socks, and other small stuff … totally helps keep things in order in your top drawers. Hope this helps! Let’s do a book about this :))))

    Like

  13. Bettina @ Books, Bikes, and Food Avatar

    I can only second everyone who said hire a housekeeper! I don’t have kids, but I do have a 60h work week and a long-distance relationship to take care of, plus lots of business trips. Hiring a lady to come in for two hours a week has been the best thing I’ve done so far this year. It’s just SO worth the money!
    I have no experience with this at all and don’t know if you’ve got space for another person at your house, but what about getting an au pair? That might be another option. I would definitely consider this if I had kids.

    Like

  14. Bettina @ Books, Bikes, and Food Avatar

    Ah, also: thanks for the recipe! It looks delicious and I will definitely be making this 🙂

    Like

  15. Mallory @ Because I Like Chocolate Avatar

    Happy birthday, hopefully you have a great day despite the fact that you aren’t feeling the best. You are right, you cannot go wrong with a Jean-Georges recipe, this toast looks to die for!

    Like

  16. ashley Avatar
    ashley

    Such a great question–and I’m excited to hear everyone’s tips. I’m especially interested to hear if any working dads chime in. As a working mom to a two-year-old, I frequently feel overwhelmed by trying to balance it all, whereas my husband (although he’s certainly stressed and exhausted frequently) doesn’t ever let it get so existentially troubling. The secret I’m trying to teach myself is really to stop caring about making anything PERFECT, especially when it comes to house stuff. And don’t beat yourself up if you have to cut corners. In other words, try to remove the retrospective parent-guilt from your life. I feel like that ends up taking up a lot of my time, and costing me a lot of my precious sleep!

    Like

  17. elizatwist Avatar

    Let’s see…in order of importance:
    Happy Birthday!
    Get well, take good care.
    My boy just had a runny nose and I had the idea to stick a tissue soaked with olbas oil in his breast pocket (this was after I had the idea to hold it under his nose while he nursed himself to sleep for the night and then transferred it to his bed). His breathing is much improved and I’m feeling quite accomplished in spite of being in a similar state with respect to piles and lists and undone projects.
    I have made self care including exercise a priority which has helped tremendously with my morale as a working, hands on mom.
    Thanks to JR, I have a little book in which I list out dinner plans for the week, before shopping. It’s such a load off to have the plan in place. Implementation is much easier when there’s a plan.
    Thanks to having regular childcare, I have also managed to keep a fairly consistent schedule for getting office work done although, I do have a considerable back up. But it’s functional enough in that I rarely have meltdowns of overwhelm – which I’m prone to having, just ask my husband. I have managed to salvage some small part of my sanity thanks to having childcare help.
    Keep moving, everything changes. Especially with toddlers. Trust in the flow of change and keep attentive to the opportunities for enjoying the ride, they are always there amidst the rest of it.

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  18. Leah Avatar

    My sister made that video (with Bittman) and she assures me the toasts by the man himself were divine. Thanks for sharing!
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Get better and don’t take it all on. This time of year, no one is answering their email!

    Like

  19. Mommy G Avatar
    Mommy G

    I’ve only been a mommy for 4 months… and I do agree that nothing works like waking up before your child and trying to get as much as possible done (washing, getting ready, making breakfast, coffee) and sometimes I manage some household chores too. It sets a diferent tone for the day, because you are already ahed – instead of behind as you would have bee.
    http://maybetodayistheday1.blogspot.com/

    Like

  20. Carla Hinkle Avatar
    Carla Hinkle

    Happy birthday! (I turned 41 on Tuesday … ah, December birthdays! Festive yet frantic.)
    I have 3 kids (4, almost 7, and 9.5) and I work part time. Time management tips:
    1. Religious meal-planning before shopping. It is the best spent hour of my week. I suspect this may be a bit tough for you, because as a real chef you probably like to shop & get inspired by ingredients, but … that is a very risky proposition when you have a job and toddler to deal with. Meal planning!
    2. Outsource. I second (third?) the recommendation to hire someone to help with the cleaning if it is budgetarily possible. Even if weekly is not, bi-weekly, monthly, or even quarterly can be a big help.
    3. Laundry: the big slow down for me with laundry seems to be folding. I can throw it in quickly, and once it’s folded I put it away quickly, but big laundry baskets of unfolded clothes can linger for days. My solution has been to outsource folding, in various fashions over the years. I have asked many babysitters to fold when a child is napping (they never seem to mind) and I’ll put away later. Currently I wash all the clothes the day before the housecleaner comes, and dump all the clean clothes on my (made) bed, and ask her to fold it all and leave it there, and I put it away later. Somehow getting the laundry folded helps me put it away, right away, and always having clean clothes in the drawer is great for all of us.
    4. I also echo the suggestion to shower & get dressed before the kids get up. It feels so nice and it is really the only time (for me) it can reliably happen, even though my kids are much bigger now. When they were babies/toddlers it was DEFINITELY the only time.
    Hang in there! You will get your own systems as you go through motherhood!

    Like

  21. Claire Avatar
    Claire

    Looks delicious – will try a sweet potato version as have the remains of a box from the market. In other bits, I’ve got 4 kids (2, 6, 8 and 10) and a husband who is away a lot. And the best thing to do first is be kind to yourself. Don’t set impossible standards that ensure you feel failed before you’ve started. Tidy the toys once a day at the end – make it a game with Hugo. And eat really simply – I go to markets once a fortnight and we eat fresh whatever’s in season prepared either in bulk (pasta sauce) or cooked the simplest way possible. And mostly it’s organised chaos – but we all have supper together every night we’re in the same city (except the 2 yr old) and talk about the best bits of our day. I know your son is so far too young to join in, but hand on heart that’s the best thing I’ve done as a mum. Especially on days when it’s hard and we’re cranky.
    Good luck.

    Like

  22. Kira Avatar
    Kira

    Happy Birthday!
    I made this recipe last monday evening and ate it every day this week on toast with goat cheese for lunch, the perfect light but satisfying and warming midday meal here in cold Canada. Although I found this recipe somewhere else, I am not surprised to see you post it, you always post the best of recipes!

    Like

  23. Katie Avatar
    Katie

    Hope you feel better soon and can go out and celebrate your birthday even if it is belated!
    When I worked and had a young family I got to the point where I was almost desperate for what
    I can only describe as peace and sanity. I did things like cook meals ahead, etc. but also tried
    to find time for personal quiet and meditation. I recently read where the guy Josey Baker in
    San Francisco of Josey Baker bread said the thing that helps him is meditation early in the
    morning before he goes to work to bake bread.
    It was a time where I found peace through faith in God through Christ and that has made all the
    difference in my life!

    Like

  24. Elizabeth Avatar

    There is something about this that absolutely irresistible to me. It may be that roasted pumpkin or squash is one of my favorite things but I have half a butternut pumpkin in the fridge and I need to make this now.

    Like

  25. Honeybee Avatar
    Honeybee

    You’ve gotten a lot of good advice already and I totally agree with what everybody says. Especially mealplanning – I have roughly an hour between picking the kids up at daycare and getting dinner ready, so yes, mealplanning is a must. But since life with kids can only be planned to a limited extent, I remind myself daily to breathe and accept that with a one year old baby and a four year old toddler in tow, things are bound to be stressfull and chaotic at times (or very often). Worrying is one of my specialties, too, but remember: worrying is like praying for things you don’t want… 😉
    Get well soon!!

    Like

  26. Fictional Kitchen Avatar

    Feel better! I have been on a sweet potato kick lately. You should try my sweet potato tart which is a riff off of the awesome Smitten Kitchen butternut squash galette.
    http://fictionalkitchen.wordpress.com/2013/12/14/sweet-potato-tart/
    I think I’ll try your recipe with some acorn or spaghetti squash. The texture should be interesting.

    Like

  27. Katerina Avatar
    Katerina

    Matilda and Katie above covered most of my advice – my husband and I both work full time outside the house (we live in Athens) and the precious few hours I have between the time I get home and the babies (3.5 and 17 months) go to bed are for THEM not for washing dishes (or whatever).
    1. someone to clean your house
    2. a dryer – my best friend gave me mine as a wedding present (she asked me what I wanted within a certain range and couldn’t believe that was it!) – very few people in Greece have them, but just not having wet clothes draped everywhere all winter makes such a difference!!
    3. cook as much as possible on the weekend – I get my (bio) vegetables delivered on Sunday morning (I don’t have a choice!) and I try to cook almost everything for the week that day, while my husband watches the kids, or at least prep if I don’t cook. The kids eat what we do, and I try to do one meat dish, one bean dish, 1 grain dish (often this is what I take to work for lunch) and 1 veg dish in addition to roasted-whatever-is-in-season (lately, broccoli/cauliflower, butternut squash (can’t wait to try the toasts!), sweet potatoes) to always have on the side. I try to keep things like pasta sauce and stock in the freezer, then I always have an “instant” dinner if need be for later in the week. Leftovers are a given.
    take care,
    Katerina

    Like

  28. Sarah G. Avatar
    Sarah G.

    I am a stay-at-home mom of two (almost 5 and newly 2). I concur with everyone’s tips to hire a housekeeper and schedule regular exercise/meditation/yoga/whatever. For a housekeeper, even just a few hours every other week is stabilizing, if you can afford it. Once a week could be life-changing. In the same vein, but not mention yet, hire a babysitter 1-3 times a week to play with Hugo for an hour or so while you get dinner on the table and the kitchen mostly cleaned up for the night. We started doing this in late summer, at my mother-in-law’s suggestion, and when my babysitter moved on this month (college/finals), my husband and I found ourselves having some of the same old arguments and frustrations that we’d almost forgotten about… Such a simple solution that makes the difference between a chaotic life and a smooth grateful existence. The key is…. ask for and hire as much help as you can. Managing the household and caring for a young toddler are at least three full time jobs all at once. You have to constantly choose which job you’re doing.
    Get well soon and.. happy birthday!

    Like

  29. Alexandra Avatar
    Alexandra

    I echo all of the previous comments. I find that weekends with my toddler go by more quickly when I get out and see other people. And I feel rejuvenated for having spent time with friends. I arrange casual lunches with the kid in tow, walks, and short trips to the museums. With at least 2 adults to one child, you have an extra set of hands to entertain and distract.
    That and committing to 20 minutes of exercise as many days as possible, and squeezing it in: walks outside, ideally when the sun is out, stretches on the floor while playing with the kid, dancing to music, etc.

    Like

  30. dn Avatar
    dn

    Happy, happy, birthday, and I hope you are feeling much better.
    I made the squash for the first time earlier this week after seeing it again on the NY Times website before Thanksgiving and was wondering if it would go well on pasta, so thank you for confirming that it does! I agree that the combination of squash, sweet/sour onion and cheese (goat cheese in my case) was delicious. I’m a lazy cook and didn’t bother to skin and cube the squash before I roasted it. I halved a butternut squash, drizzled some oil and sprinkled a little salt and pepper, and that was it. I even left the seed where they were. Once it was cooked through, I nibbled on the seeds and mushed up the squash with the skin, which was cooked soft. This is rough eating, but I’m not fussy, and the process was much easier. It would also have been easy to pick out the skin if you didn’t like the texture. I added the chile pepper afterward. Thanks for sharing this!

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  31. Jacqui Avatar

    You did it! And by it, I mean wrote about the toast. Best edible discovery of the year? I really couldn’t agree more.
    Not being a mamma myself, I can’t offer much in the way of relevant advice, but as a human, I can say that some days, the best we can do is just keep our heads above water. And that’s gotta be enough.
    Also, happy birthday! Hope you feel better real soon. xx

    Like

  32. Charlotte Avatar
    Charlotte

    Hi Luisa,
    My organizations aren’t stellar as I’m not that good at it but I agree with everyone else. Outsource what you can or don’t care about. Find really great childcare and that will take a load off your mind. Have backup childcare. Get ready when your child is asleep (I shower in the evenings when he’s asleep) or on weekends (I cook and bake on the weekends before everyone is up and about). Pick up toys only at the end of the day (once) – get my husband to fold laundry, etc. And pick your battles along the way – let go of the things that you can. Enjoy the time with your son and husband because it goes fast. And I’ve found there isn’t any such thing as balance – mostly it is doing your best and having fun and singing once in a while (or dancing or tickling or giggling))and going outside as much as possible.

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  33. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    Hi, Luisa –
    Thanks for the lovely post! I’m looking forward to trying this toast! I have a 2 year old and a 7 year old; I work part time while my husband works very full time and travels often, and here are my suggestions (but only since you asked):
    1. All the other commenters are right — outsourcing is a must! We have a few cleaning ladies that come in every 2 weeks, and it changed a lot for me! There are a lot of things in this household that must be done by me, but the ones that don’t, shouldn’t.
    2. Resentment is a sign that I have to stop. Right now. Really, that second. I try really hard to not get resentful (at spouse/kiddos/cat/job/weather), and if I am, it’s a sign that I’ve gone too far, I’ve pushed too much, and I need to stop. I’ve learned that when I don’t, it breeds much longer term problems and rifts into my life, and it’s not worth it.
    3. When I plan out my days, it means that I am less stressed when I’m doing them. I’m going straight to the next thing, then I’m not spending all my transition time figuring out what to be doing next (an often dithering while I worry about All That Must Be Done). Each weekend, I look ahead to my week, figure out where the crunch times will be, and spread out the labor, if possible. If not, I call in the cavalry in advance – extra child care, meals out of the freezer, a special treat the day after to reward myself (no one else will). This allows me to let go of a lot of the worry, if I have a realistic plan about how it is all going to get done. If I don’t have a plan, I tend to hide in my bed (literally), and everything compounds. If, looking ahead at your week, there’s no way to do the things you need to do (want is, of course, different), then something has to give, and you need to figure out where to do that. Thoughtfully giving up things instead of accidentally falling flat on my face is a distinction I didn’t know before kids, but it’s an important one.
    4. Exercise is the antithesis of worry, to me. I require a large amount of exercise to be a sane person, and while this may not be true for you, I think it’s true for many people. Make sure that exercise, and your basic needs*, are built into your schedule, so much so that you don’t even think about making them happen. It’s the routine; it’s just the way it is.
    * basic needs for me = food, exercise, things that make me feel like more than only a mother/scream recipient, sleep (kinda), going to the bathroom at least once a day without someone touching me, coffee, face-to-face-interactions with other adults
    5. Listen to music while you do the hard stuff. Make it a dance party.
    6. My parenting aha moment: toddlers want to be heard. Recently, my little one had an absolute meltdown because I wouldn’t let him lick the car (it was dirty, and since we live in Wisconsin, his tongue would get stuck on the freezing metal of our vehicle). With my first child, I would have distracted/logicked/argued, but with my second, saying something like, “you really want to lick the car. It’s super frustrating for you not to be able to do what you want to do” allows him to feel heard, and then, crucially, to let it go. Telling them how they feel isn’t the same as agreeing with them, but it helps them work through it.
    That’s it! I rarely feel like I have the chance to give something back to a writer such as yourself, much less something that they may want, so thank you for giving me that chance. I have so enjoyed your blog for many years — thank you also for giving me the delights of reading what you write.

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  34. yung@foodyoo.com Avatar

    I hope you get well soon or you already recover…Just get some good rest when you are sick since you have good people around you and care so much about you. I like the butternut squash pasta sauce, it sounds really good. I have a big butternut squash at home. Guess it is the right one for this. 🙂

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  35. Bel Avatar
    Bel

    In addition to what has been said, I’ll add- technology free hours. These things are true time suckers. Even 1 hour spend in the morning can delay getting the day under way. It can normally wait until things are under control on the domestic front. Make the best use of mum/nonna time possible. When baby is happy and entertained with nonna, fly around your house like mad doing things. and lastly, ‘do it now’ is my new philosophy. So I clear out the top drawer in the bathroom when I realize it’s a mess, if an email requires a 30 second response ill respond now, and not double handle it, I load the dishwasher when I notice a few things on the sink, clear out the fridge door when I see it needs doing. I find the strategy of keeping on the move constantly means that I get more done. The rainy afternoon to clear out my bathroom drawers never comes, so i force myself to do it when I notice it. Good luck, it is a constant and truly universal battle that women everywhere are fighting!

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  36. jonquil Avatar
    jonquil

    Happy birthday! SO much good advice! I, also, pick up quickly through the day. What I found helped me (three grandchildren in the house. 3,6,8) is to remember, no matter the fussing, a rough schedule helps keep things moving. Breakfast before videos; homework before tv or supper; bath certain times of the week; bedtime with a short movie for the older two (I don’t care if they go to sleep right away, but they must be in bed & quiet! they will fall asleep quickly). My grands seem to find some sort of schedule comforting. In turn, this helps me know when I can schedule what I need to get done. Heal soonest 🙂

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  37. Gisa Avatar
    Gisa

    You’re doing everything right. Raising children is like childbirth – you only remember the good stuff when it’s over. (mother of a 29 and 24 year old). Calgary, Canada

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  38. Sarah Avatar
    Sarah

    I made the pasta version of this for my boyfriend and myself last night. He said it was the best thing I’ve ever made! So thank you for that!!! I did swap the squash for sweet potato though, as I had one in the fridge i needed to use up. I was a little skeptical that the sauce would come together, because when I first put the squash mixture in the pot with the noodles it just kind of sat there in a clump with the starchy pasta water pooled at the bottom. But after about a minute, it started to loosen up and coated the rigatoni so nicely. So rare to find such a comforting dish that isn’t terribly guilt inducing! I mean come on, the sauce is vegetable based! So stinkin delicious, I am going to have to put this in my regular repertoire 🙂

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  39. Devon Avatar
    Devon

    After I read this post, I thought about it for a while. ‘Something good!’ I said to myself, ‘for the woman who gave you salt crusted pork chops!’ I don’t know if this is good, but here goes:
    1. I carry a little notebook around with me. Very little. There are so many many times in a day when you think of something that should get done, or an idea, and you don’t get a chance to act on it. If I go to my phone, I am immediately distracted. So I make a little note. It keeps me focussed on what I’m doing – even if what I am doing is dishes – while soothing my feeling that I’m forgetting everything else. On bad days, I write things down like Water Plants and Take Shower.
    2. Sometimes, I find it helpful to make note of what I DID do. For morale, but also to give me a sense of what I am valuing. On some level, certain things aren’t getting down because they don’t feel essential, or because they feel hard. What feels easy? rewarding? We mamas can forget to notice our strengths.
    3. Notice the waves. What goes up must come down. Etc.
    Good luck!

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  40. Katherine Avatar

    Everything has already been said for the most part, but just to echo what someone else wrote: having different genres of food/recipes for different days really works well for me when a) trying to plan a menu, and quickly and b) not to get too fixated on the same thing over and over. As people have noted, being a chef as you are, you probably want to go to the market and be inspired. But you can still have some parameters that will make it faster. Mine are: Meatless Mondays, Stir-fry Tuesdays, Pasta Wednesdays, Fish on Thursday, Pizza on Friday, Roast of some kind on Sunday. Hope that helps. I am sure you are doing way better than you think you are in all scenarios.

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  41. Susana Avatar
    Susana

    Question I’ve had for a long time but keep forgetting to ask someone that might know:
    Would roasting the squash but just cutting it in half and putting it in the oven (and hen scooting out the cooked insides) have a very different (worse) effect than peeling, cutting and then roasting? Or is there another viable alternative? I’m so lazy when it comes to peeling and cutting such hard veggies (hard roots like sweet potatoes and yucca are the same). It takes soooo long and is almost painful (I’m such a klutz) with the knives I have.
    Tell me there’s a shortcut!

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  42. Rossi @ A Baking Girl Avatar

    This truly looks like one of those simple yet wholly satisfying meals that are so necessary at this time of year, in which all you want is comfort food with little to no effort. I’m definitely going to have to try this out on a cold winter night.

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  43. FancySimple Avatar

    Perfect!! My kids love squash and for sure they will love this. Thanks for sharing.
    private chef in austin

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  44. Angie Avatar

    I just had this at ABC Kitchen last week and it was sooooo good. I could happily fill myself on just this. Mmmm.

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