I have started and stopped this post five times so far, because every time I try to start telling you about the fruit cake I made (and loved) last week, I am overcome with the feeling that it is nothing less than obscene of me to be writing about food and holidays and other such similar nonsense when the details of this story refuse to leave my mind's eye.
The thing is, I am so angry. I'm sad, yes, but tangibly, physically, speaking, I am filled with rage. Trembly, white-hot rage. I am so sick of these guns, these guns that pollute the United States, that threaten our schools and movie theaters, of the disgusting hypocrisy of politicians who bleat and bray about the sanctity of life when it comes to the contents of a woman's womb, but are silent – silent – when a classful of children are murdered, all shot multiple times, in a matter of minutes. The craven dishonesty, the glibness behind lines like "guns don't kill people, people kill people" revolt me. Tell that line to any of the parents who were ushered into a separate room last week once all the living children of the Sandy Hook elementary school had been reunited with their parents. Tell that to the children, the babies, really, who hid in a closet silently while their classmates were slaughtered on the other side of the door. Just the thought of children staring down big, black guns loaded with round after round of ammunition in their school and my heart races with fear and revulsion, but mostly rage.
I personally am of the persuasion that guns should not be available to the citizenry at all. That the Second Amendment has long outlived its purpose. I realize I am in the minority among my fellow citizens and that's alright. But what is not alright is that ordinary Americans are being made to live in fear because of the refusal of our politicans to deal with what should be matters of common sense. What is not alright is that once again we all are left to wonder how many more children will be killed before any meaningful change takes place. What is not alright is that the gun lobby has more money and power than any of the other players at the table, unfairly skewing the debate before it even starts.
When I sit back and take a breath, it feels futile and silly to write all this down. What on earth will my little rant do? It will not bring back the dead, it will not comfort the survivors, it will not effect any political change. It's simply more noise added to an already cacophonous exchange that flares up with each incident and then dies down again when the heat cools off. And that may be the worst thing of all.
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119 responses to “The Shootings”
Thank you so much for posting this, being brave enough to say what you believe. I am so heartsick over the responses (like the commenter above) insisting that guns are not the problem here. Really?! Really. I am so confused and disheartened by the blindness that shows. I am not necessarily in favor of total disarmament, though I can respect that position. But I am definitely in favor of a ban on assault weapons, a limit on the number of bullets in a magazine, it being much more difficult to get guns. I don’t think that children being massacred in their classrooms is a fair price to pay for people’s freedoms.
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As an American mother I am gifted with special perks. I can dress my kids in Kevlar vests when we go to the mall, the movie theater, school and temple. I am so sick of it.
When the 2nd Amendment was written, the most sophisticated weapon around was the musket. So, for the citizenry that wants to arm– you can have your musket. In return you can give up your semi-automatics, your machine guns, and pretty much any gun that has a clip which will allows you to discharge 100 bullets within a few minutes. There is no place for such a weapon in a civic society. It is barbaric. Gun control is needed now. The end.
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Beautifully said, thank you for your courage, I feel the same.
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It is absolutely unbearable and the more you think about it the more unbearable it gets. How will the surviving kids be able celebrate Christmas and then go back to school. In Australia assault rifles were banned (many were bought back by the government and destroyed) after a horrific massacre in 1996. Since then we have not had any of these shooting massacres. For many of us outside America we can’t help asking not why but how? How could this unstable young man have had such easy access to this kind of weaponry. I hope this unfathomable horror of this event brings about some change in the gun culture in the US.
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I live quite close to Newtown. A very good friend lived right down the road from the Sandy Hook school until her husband was transferred out-of-state a few years ago. Two parishioners from my church are teachers at the school, and several children in the parish attend the school. Thankfully, all survived. It is surreal enough just watching the news coverage on television without having any personal connections, but it is much worse when you actually know the location and some of the people involved.
There is NO conceivable reason that an individual would need to own assault rifles. When will we end this insanity and allow the United States to join civilized society? Thank you, Luisa, for a beautifully worded post.
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I have never posted a comment on a blog before, but I wanted to tell you that your comments were not silly or futile. We all need to use any forum to which we have access to voice our outrage. Gun owners say that guns make them safer. This is not true, but the cost of paying attention to their rhetoric, rather than the reality of gun violence, is a mounting body count. Our founding fathers were wrong about a few things, including the concept that the country should be run by white male landowners. When things don’t work, it’s time to change them. Enough is enough. Guns are the problem, not the solution, and gun ownership must be abolished.
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“I would have liked to hear about your fruitcake. It isn’t obscene to write about normal everyday things even when these things happen.” I had the same decision to make when I wrote my own blog (wrong link above..it’s http://culinarypromiscuity.com/sandy-hook-instead-of-holiday-cookies-my-own-familys-shooting-and-gun-laws/ ) …
There is a point when things are so horrific that diversion is indeed obscene, I believe. Giving respect to tragedies rather than the petty joys of our usual lives is civilized. There will be another day for Lucia’s fruit cake and another year for my cookies, but let us hope this is the last time we feel moved to suspend our usual activities in respect for the dead of such an event.
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I will restate what was said–guns are not the problem. There are places in the world where guns are not allowed. I would not choose to live there. I understand the concern about assault weapons, but good people who own guns know that it doesn’t stop when one kind of gun is banned. It doesn’t solve the problem, of course, so, as the person from the UK above stated, all guns are eventually taken. I am a mother and grandmother. I cried. But I treasure the freedoms we still have and hope we can focus on mental health and the violence in our children’s games, movies and tv. Adults are choosing to legalize drugs and glorifying destructive behavior. Let’s untwist the twisted values and behavior in our society. Don’t mess with our second amendment. I will also not be following your blog anymore.
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Amen and amen. Your thoughts are concise and REAL, damn it, they are real. I, too, feel like it’s so hopeless to speak out against the roar of the pundits. But you have a VOICE and so many are listening. Perhaps they do not agree or understand. But you have not shied away from painful and delicate things and we (I!) thank you.
I continue to pray for peace.
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To Wanda, and the other who posted that “guns are not the problem”: why is your response to Luisa’s post that you will no longer be reading her blog? What we need now is more discussion, not further isolation within our own belief structure. A knee jerk reaction of “I don’t like what you’re saying, so I’m taking my ball and going home – where everyone shares my opinions” will only perpetuate the problem. If you don’t like what she, or the other commenters, are saying, lets have a rational argument about it.
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I want my gun to protect myself from crazies. I would never use it unless my life or my family’s life was threatened. I have practiced how to shoot it, but I am still mildly scared of it. However, I like knowing it is there…just in case. I teach middle school and the violent video games that kids play-oh my word. The movies they watch-scary. So many things in their lives that numb them to violence. However, I think that if guns are banned, good people won’t have access to protection, but bad people will still get them by hook or crook. If someone broke into my home, I’d be defenseless without it. That’s just my opinion. I love this blog. I’ll read it no matter what because Luisa’s posts always make my day…especially the vegetarian ones. 🙂
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What it does is bind us together, tightly, and lend strength in our numbers. Thank you for your rant. Thank you.
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Luisa . . .
I appreciate your candor in this post. There have been a million blog posts today where people are “sick” about the situation and “holding their kids close”. Tomorrow they will resume their gift lists and crafting. I find that hard to stomach. Yes, thinking about the helpers can make us feel better. But I don’t want to feel better. I want to DO better.
I work in a school and have a toddler. I just wrote both my state senators to have them support Feinstein’s possible assault weapons ban. I have never done that. Thank you.
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thank you, thank you, thank you for this. What also angers me is the fact that people willing to sacrifice their lives for their “job” get paid fractions of what they deserve, while ruthless paper-pushers make millions.
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Oh, Luisa. I don’t think I’ve commented before, but now I venture to say I know how you feel. And just after I found out on Friday and the shock of what it meant was numbing me, my toddler woke up from her nap, and upon seeing her smiling face waiting for me in her crib I nearly wept–out of anger at the thought that this happened to somebody’s baby (20 of them!), out of gratitude that my baby didn’t have to know about things like this yet, out of anguish that someday, she will know that we live in a world where kids can go to school and not come home. I’m with you (mostly) on the guns thing. I simply cannot fathom a mentality that says that MORE guns are the answer (and I’ve seen such opinions!). I shudder to think what kind of world that would be, where all of us are armed and dangerous! Because everybody is a law-abiding gun owner, until they aren’t.
And yet I also feel that if it weren’t this tragedy, it would be another. This world is sad and broken and full of heartache and at some point, asking “why” isn’t as important to me as looking forward to when it will all be over and made right (for, as a Christian, I think it will be one day). But until that day I ache and long right along with everyone else and I pray for real, lasting peace and love.
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You took the words out of my mouth. I have two young children, and a husband who works in a school. I am so angry, and sad. I echo the sentiment re: removal of all guns from the citizenry and would love to repeal the anachronistic 2nd amendment. Why can’t we channel our anger in a meaningful way? Why can’t we organize and fund raise? What stops us? You have a platform, and an audience. Those are powerful things.
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Luisa, thank you for posting this. We should be furious that gun violence is allowed to continue. It is enraging to watch another one of these tragedies unfold, terrifying to contemplate happening to those we know, and baffling to read and hear all the shocked wondering about “how could this happen?” My 7 year old daughter heard just a little about this on NPR yesterday morning and asked, “but Mommy, why are there so many guns?” I didn’t even know what to say.
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Thank you for this post. I’m so with you both in your opinion in your passionate reaction. I too am a mother horrified and in disbelief. I thought there were no words to express how I feel but you did it pretty well. Thanks again!
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PS: and now I’m going to go buy your book 🙂
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I don’t think it’s right to use a tragedy like this to promote your political agenda. Guns are not the problem but the people who use them. Why was nothing mentioned about the movie or gaming industry that these young people ( who are committing mass murder) have been raised watching. The violence they’ve been fed while growing has totally desensitized them and taught them how to kill. Also how is killing a 6 year old different from killing the unborn?
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Thank you. Just, thank you. You are so right.
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These are not wasted words– just look at the conversation you have evoked. We all feel this rage and this sadness and must do what we can to help initiate real change. Writing letters, blogging posts, signing petitions, speaking up in everyday conversation– these are the things we all need to engage in at this moment, and beyond, until we see difference.
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Luisa,
I’m glad you shared your thoughts. It matters not if I agree with them or disagree with them, I celebrate your right and choice to share them. I hope they were cathartic for you.
Take care.
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Sissy… two things.
1) I agree with you in regards to the movie and gaming industries. I would also ask you: what is the preferred method used by the protagonists in violent movies and video games? The answer is “guns”. Our culture glorifies firearms and targets white males as the primary demographic. Bushmaster is a firearm manufacturer. One of Bushmaster’s current online advertising campaigns is an image of a semiautomatic rifle with the slogan “Your Man Card Has Been Renewed”.
Bushmaster manufactures the primary weapon that Lanza used in the Sandy Hook Massacre.
2) Do you really find it necessary to start a reproductive rights debate within a gun control debate?
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The second amendment has long outlived its purpose? Really? Wow! Let’s chuck the whole Constitution while we’re at it. Our right to life is already in the wind and we wonder where the violence comes from…well we can pretend to wonder. Personal responsibility is at an all time low and self control is not expected in our schools anymore. There used to be consequences for our actions but had the shooter not turned the gun on himself, we’d have given him a frowny face and put him in time out, and sent him to bed without TV.
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I’m with you on your outrage and your passion. As an American living here in Berlin too, the news came as surreal and I’m left with a sadness for a country that was much better in memory.
There should be no argument about banning these firearms, period. Americans have become too accustomed to debating beyond all sense and logic so they can hold on to some false sense of freedom. This is the legacy of such freedom.
Thank you for your post, I completely empathize how this incident is all-consuming and has put cooking for the moment on the back burner.
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I live in Europe and it is simply unbeliavable to me to think that anybody -anybody!- in the street could be carrying a gun. And it is so much safe in here.
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I agree with you. And I agree that those who reply “I won’t be reading your blog anymore” are a big part of where we should shift some attention. We in US live in a deeply divided, bickering and nasty, slamming door environment. Will we ever be able to have reasonable dialogue without ego and anger? I LOVE fruitcake, and hope we get to hear about it. Life goes on, we hope. Happy Solstice almost. The days will be growing longer soon. Hug Hugo. Wishing you and yours Peaceful Holidays.
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Scott, I was not the one who brought up the reproductive rights debate. I was merely responding to what was posted originally. And your post about guns proves my point. Thanks
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It is not guns that kill people, but people… well, I wonder if whoever said that tried killing another person both with and without a gun. I know I haven’t, but I can imagine it is much easier to pull the trigger (not just because we are numbed by videogames and more) than choke someone to death with your bare hands (using all your physical strength to reach your goal, while your victim jerks, gasps and fights to stay alive); or stab them to death, feeling the blade sink into soft tissue over and over again. And if this act does not horrify you, well at least using your bare hands will take longer and more energy and lives will be spared. Using a gun distances you from the act and is certainly easier and takes less time, guts and more strength. So even if making guns less available may not solve the problem, because there is apparently much more to be addressed in a country where massacres are becoming a much too frequent occurance, it may reduce it. I know most people who own weapons are responsible citizens with good hearts but unfortunately not all of them and those surrounding them are. If the law changes and you are a responsible citizen, you will do what needs to be done in order to possess and handle a firearm, like in so many other countries in the world.
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It may not die down this time. Several notable political figures who have supported gun ownership are speaking out, Mark Warner (VA) among them. He is a lifetime member of the NRA who is saying “Enough!” It is way past time for meaningful dialogue on this subject. People kill people, and they do it pretty efficiently with rapid fire weapons. We need to be looking at what makes Americans willing to accept a murder rate higher than any other first world nation, more people in prisons, more pure violence than any country calling itself civilized should tolerate. As you say, how many more must die before our politicians take action? You are not alone in your thinking. Remember, it starts with one little candle.
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Luisa, you are so beautifully articulate. And we NEED more people to write about it, talk about it ….otherwise, there is no opposition. I read the posts and notice that you have lost one reader. I was so amazingly baffled by her or his attitude. Wow!!!!!!
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On the bright side, at least you weren’t here in Manhattan the day after the shootings encountering Santa Saturday. Art and fruitcake need to be foregrounded at times like these.
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Well said Lu!! I feel the same anger and rage. I am disillusioned by our current political landscape and how little is done to affect change when change is so desperately needed!
Xxoo
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Amen and amen.
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This was honestly better-put than most of the editorials I’ve read in the Times and elsewhere. I’m glad you took the time to write it. I share your opinion that we would all be better off if citizens did not have guns. As a mother, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this. I can’t bear the thought of what happened; I can’t even articulate my feelings about it at this point. Drastic changes need to happen in the US.
In the meantime, I’d love to know more about the fruitcake. I loved reading about your Springerle cookies not long ago. The gorgeous wooden molds (is that the word?) are reason enough to make them. They’ll be on my list for next year.
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Dear Luisa,
Thank you for your eloguence – and for posting that poem – amidst this heartache, we must find a way to move on, make positive changes, and live life in a way that honors those lives lost.
Thank you for you.
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I felt such relief after reading your post. You said the words I couldn’t find! and said it so elequently. Since Fri. I’ve had so much anger within myself, but I felt frustrated because every time someone brought up the subject, I couldn’t express how powerless and frustrate and enraged I felt/ feel. I have a 6 yr. old granddaughter whom I love beyond words and everytime I hear of this horrible tragedy I think of her. Why do civilized people need assault weapons? Ban them now! Ban all guns!
Other countries have done it successfully, why not us?
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it’s not noise at all, Luisa. It’s the truth..i’m sick to my stomach, why can’t we take all the guns away? Why can’t that happen? How many more people have to die? It all feels so wrong.
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Thank you Luisa for putting all this out there. I have felt at a loss of words the past few days. All I can do is sit and stare at the television with a huge desire to cry. But reading your post I realize it is not so much grief and sadness – it is rage. Pure rage and anger. Anger that this has happened – that it could happen again tomorrow.
And what may be worst of all is learning everyone’s argument on gun control and what happened. So many varying views. Yes, that’s why we live in America, for freedom of speech and debate. I have to remind myself of this. But to see the things my friends and community are posting in Facebook absolutely terrifies me. At 6 months pregnant with my first baby, I feel almost crippled with fear at the world I’m bringing my little girl into.
Why on earth do we need guns? How can people honestly believe the answer to this violence is more guns? it is sickening and makes me feel helpless – not free as some people have stated. I’m not saying guns are the only issue here and that banning them would solve all our problems. But they are a start!
THANK YOU again for sharing your thoughts with us.
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Your eloquent and passionate response to this tragedy touched me deeply. It resonates with my values, my heart and everything else I hold dearly. I grew up in a family that hunted and am a gun owner. What happened last Friday sicken me. In a civilized society, assault weapons should not be available to anyone. Regarding those who stop reading your blog and book – They inspired me to buy 10 copies to give to my friends for presents. Keep writing from your heart!
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Hi Luisa
I have never commented on your blog but am a long time reader.
I feel compelled to write something in response to the comments on this post.
It is so easy to blame ‘violent culture’ for the incidence of gun crime and not ‘the guns themselves’.
People – these video games and news reports on violence, are just as prevalent in other nations (for instance the UK) as in the US. Yet the incidence of gun crime is MUCH, much lower. Look up the official statistics. This difference cannot be explained away ‘video games’.
Also, Luisa, thank you for pointing out the hypocrisy of politicians re: abortion vs guns. Absolutely sickening.
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great post
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I’m angry too — only I’m angry about a liberal democrat agenda (and president) who are in favor of killing the unborn, in favor of gay marriage and gay rights and turning a blind eye when gays sodomize our children, of doing nothing about the violence (that is turning our children into killers) that we see coming out of Hollywood. Instead our president courts Hollywood — too much money and influence there for him to pass by. Our culture has fallen deeply into an abyss of immorality and turned a blind eye to Christian
beliefs. God is the only person who can save us from what our country has turned into. To blame the school killings on gun control is like trying to put a band aid on a gushing wound. We as a country have down the wind and are now reaping a whirlwind.
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I’m not against guns exactly, but really. They do facilitate killing easily. And in the wrong hands, so much hurt.
Good post, Luisa.
And to those who refuse to read? Open your minds and discuss! Luisa lives abroad, has lived many places and has some different perspective to add.
No one is right. No one is wrong. We just don’t want this to happen again, right?
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Not silly at all and I understand how it feels useless. When you post things like this, it strengthens the voice of those of us who want gun control. It is inspiring for those who are usually quiet. I am with you – may your voice be heard. My heart hurts so much for those families and I too am enraged that this continues to happen and NOTHING changes.
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Thank you for this honest post that I totally agree with.
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I, too, would like to thank you for this. There is no reason that a supposed “right to bear arms” should trump the right to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” The Second Amendment was crafted so that there could be militias in place of a standing army, because there was a fear that a standing army would lead to corruption. Since we have long had a standing army, we have no need for militias… and absolutely no need for private citizens to own guns. My sadness turned to rage, too, over the weekend.
Private ownership of guns should simply be banned – and in my reading, such a ban is not unconstitutional.
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Dear Luisa,
You couldnt have echoed my sentiments better. In addition to rage, my heart keeps on breaking a little bit every day and feel that the pieces that broke are lost for ever. As a mom of a 4 year old, I cant imagine the horror and the sadness and the ache the families who lost their children are going through. I am just horrified. And yes, we can do something. People can send letters to the families, donate to the various funds set up in Newton (CupofJo has posted links) and most importantly write, email, or call said elected politicians and MAKE OUR VOICES HEARD. NO MORE GUNS!
Thank you,
Dana
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I’m glad when any of the bloggers out there take a stand for something they believe in. I’m especially glad that you are willing to use your platform to do it: it is well, WELL past time that the US take seriously the need to get these guns designed solely for mass murder out of people’s hands. (And to those who think ‘video games are the problem’ – if that is true, wouldn’t you agree that you don’t want video-game crazed children with access to GUNS?!). My heart aches for the families of those young ones, and also for our country, which props itself up on guns instead of acting with true bravery.
Bravo for bringing it today Luisa, and thank you.
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